It's really mind blowing how behind
the scenes God can work in our lives. In late October I come home to the news
of everyone in my apartment was being evicted. It was a surprise to everyone
and quite a blow. No one expected it really and how fast it was happening. The
landlord was only giving us three days. I didn't really fear, because I knew
that the creator of the universe was at work.

You see the night before I had a
Skype conversation with a dear Pastor of mine. He was bold in confronting me
with all the lies I had been believing and extended his home and ministry to
me. I told him I needed time to think about returning to the place I had called
home twice before. In my mind I needed time to think or find an alternative to
the plan he proclaimed was the only way for me to be restored and prosper. So
when I found out I was being evicted, I took it as the last sign I needed. The
doors I worked so hard to open for myself were progressively and ultimately
overnight closed shut.

I did not respond to his invitation
purely or mostly out of being restored with the Master. It was mostly a matter
of survival. I had not been eating, had no money, nowhere to take all my
belongings. Moving back to Higher Ground solved all of these issues. A very
small part of me actually wanted to be involved with the spiritual side of
Higher Ground. But nevertheless there was a part of me that knew that the
Pastor was right, returning to God was the only answer.

The last night I was in Worcester I
went out drinking with my friends and cousin as a last hoorah. At one of the
bars we visited I ran into my old boss at the former job I held in Worcester. I
told him I was leaving back to NY. After telling him the hardship I was going
through, he told me not to go! He offered to give me my job back and let me
live in his million-dollar house in Paxton. Others heard of this and told me
that this was the answer I was looking for, but it didn't click with me inside.
It might have addressed my physical needs, but not my spiritual or emotional
needs. I knew that deep down it was only an avenue to continue in the things I
attempted to use to fill God's void in my life.

            Within 24
hours of arrival to Higher Ground I had regretted ever coming here. I was
stripped of every comfort I held dear. No family, no friends (or so I thought),
nothing to call my own, no local bar where I was treated as a local celebrity.
Within the week I had been sent 2 emails for two job offers back home. I had
applied at so many places but all those doors had been shut. But sure enough
the week I move out of the state, I get not one but two, three if you count the
one from my old boss.

            I went to a
couple prayer meetings and a couple services with Pastor and his students.
Didn't think much of it, just something to do rather than being stuck inside
the walls of the campus. But even in all my folly, the Lord was setting the
stage for what was to come. One of the meetings I attended was the weekly
pastor's prayer meeting on the day we took off to go back to Worcester for Thanksgiving.
I only went really because I had to in order to go with the Pastor to
Worcester.

      At the end of
the meeting they prayed for everyone a blessing in the middle of their circle.
Everyone took turns stepping into the middle. I stayed back, hoping to be
missed or forgotten about. Sure enough they invited me into the middle. As they
prayed one of the pastors spoke that the Lord was showing her "You're wanting
to do so much, and the Lord sees that, but you have a ball and chain to your
feet. The Lord wants to set you free before he uses you". It resonated with me
to the deepest parts of my being. I had never had an intimate conversation with
her, nothing past the casual. I knew it was only God showing her this. But I
didn't really pay it much mind after we left the meeting.

     The first morning
I slept over my grandma's house I was awoken by my aunt praying and anointing
me with oil. She did not try to wake me, but just laid hands on my head and
prayed. I tried to stay asleep, hoping if I ignored her long enough she'll
leave and let me sleep. Not knowing she was just another instrument the Lord
was using to set the stage of what was to come.

I was really lookiing forward to being together with my
family for Thanksgiving. Family members flew in from Florida and Puerto
Rico. As the hour came to be together,
my cousins and I were running late as usual. We kept getting calls that the
family was waiting for us get started. When we finally arrived we walked into a
full worship service with about 30 of my family members. I looked around as if
I had walked into either the wrong place or into a church service that was
being hosted by the church. Every single person there either in attendance or
ministering was a family member. It was really amazing to me to see how God had
gifted us differently and had called my family to serve Him. We have been so
blessed.

            When we
returned to Higher Ground we hosted a very special banquet with local pastors,
leaders, and friends of the Higher Ground ministry. A world famous evangelist
was coming to be our guest and speak to us. I thought that if God were going to
do anything for me, it would be here. You always hear and had heard of the
already miraculous things God had done through this man and men like him. The evening
came and although it was a very special evening, I remained unchanged and
untouched. The last thing he told me before he left was "Now you're a Marine
for Jesus". I thought it was so nice and cliché of him to say, but dismissed it
almost entirely.

            Over the
next two weeks after this banquet things carried on as usual, or so I thought.
I came to a couple realizations though. See I was used to either numbing or
suppressing my anger and pain. I was blind to see how much this anger and pain
affected me. I thought it only showed it's ugly head in heated disputes and my
life was just in a period of despair.It felt as a normal response to everything
my life had became, to feel so empty and sad. I realized that this
despair,void, anger, and pain affected every single thing I did, thought, and
chose to relish in. See being who I

am and havings so many different kinds of backgrounds-my hispanic
culture, my military background, my failed marriage; I didn't see anyone like
me or that could fully understand me. So I listened to music and watched movies
that I related to or occupied my time with other things to keep my mind off the
sadness my life had become.

     Soon I realized that all these things I did
only consciously or unconsciously as a response to the pain and hurt. I saw a
pattern in the music I listened to and things I wanted to do. They fed into the
pain and anger, they resounded that pain. But at the same time I came to the
realization that I did want to get past it all, but didn't know how. This thing
inside me controlled everything I did, and those things of comfort only kept it
alive. It wasn't new to me to try to get over this all, but I was using all the
wrong things. They all left me empty and only temporarily helped.

      I had been removed
of every other way that I used to battle it, "so what now?" I thought. I racked
my brain and had lengthy conversations with a new friend trying to come up with
a solution, when the solution was in my face and most importantly in my heart
the whole time. This friend helped me realize how out of control and widespread
this "disease" had become, but her answer to it I knew all too well;sex, drugs,
and alcohol. These things had been evident to me to be ineffective in the long
run, where I was currently standing. I had a deep desire to find the answer to
it, to be whole again and alive.

            When it
happened it felt like it happened out of nowhere. We had service at the campus
and the Pastor preached a very good message about knowing who we are in God. It
was really well put and biblical. It was another dot in the grand scheme of
Gods plan to reach my heart,along with a book he had invited me to read weeks
prior.

The book was a revelation of America's recent past and it's connection to ancient
Israel. Both Israel and America had received calamity but failed to understand
why it happened and had the wrong response to it. They had taken the calamity
and had used it to bring about a spirit of arrogance and trust in their own
power and might. Instead of seeing it as judgement from replacing Gods place
with idols and sin. This was not just clear to me that these things ere true,
but they connected to my own life. I did the same thing, in my heart I said "I
will rebuild! I will be stronger! I will get it all back! Without God!".

Shortly after the service I carried
on like I usually do, I went to my computer and watched the basketball game of
the night. I didn't really think too much more of the message or even what was
transpiring. I just knew that my heart, mind, and soul were seeking. The game
ended in a very disappointing result for my beloved team. I stayed up a little
longer bantering with my friends from back home on facebook about the game.

      A thought came
to me about deleting the music that I had because it wasn't helping me in my
moving past the pain and anger. So I proceeded to iTunes and deleted 80
gigabytes of music. It was more than 4 years of collecting music, but it seemed
meaningless.

            I have the
habit of going to sleep to music since some of my roommates tend to sleep talk
or snore. But I had just deleted my entire library of music, and was left with
Christian worship music. Then I felt the need to just download some sermons
from one of my favorite pastors John Piper, the message from earlier in the
evening had stirred something in me and I wanted to hear more Word. I
downloaded 3 messages of a recent conference he had hosted and headed to bed, not
knowing how close God really was to me.

            I played
the sermon as I laid to rest. It was more of white noise to fall asleep, my
mind wandered off. That's when it started, my mind started to connect the dots
in the night, the weeks, the months, and the years that had transprired. As I
connected the dots and stood back, the dots spelled out GOD LOVES YOU! To my
surprise the message was as if he was speaking directly to me and my thoughts.

            I was amazed, completely awestruck; I
could do nothing but weep and thank God. I started praying in my head and felt
my heart come to life. It was amazing to see how God was behind every single
thing. He never left me! It was so
humbling to see that the creator of the universe was romancing me and calling
me to Him, like the perfect Father that he is. There was no way that all these
things were just coincidences, it was the Father calling me back and using
1,000 different ways to do it. There was no way I was doing this, I had done
everything in my power to run away from Him, and here he was using everything I
threw at Him to call me back and guide me as the lost sheep that I am.

            The sermon
was over and I put on the worship music as every fiber in me wanted to call out
His name and praise Him. It got to the point that I just wanted to turn every
light on in the school, wake everyone up, and tell everyone "I GET IT! I GET
IT! HE LOVES ME!" I got on my knees, prayed and wept. Every single song was
spot on with what I wanted to say and the truth of  who God is. Reminding me of how faithful,
powerful, almighty, loving, and where I can find refuge.

            As I continued to praise and worship I
was moved to pray for my elbow that was badly injured 8 months prior. An
acronym from a blog I had read came to mind, PUSH- Pray Until Something
Happens. I started to pray for my elbow and proclaim the victory of Christ
Jesus over it. Another thought came, Praise Until Something Happens. I was
pacing back and forth in the dorm proclaiming in the name of Jesus for my elbow
to be healed. To me His Grace was sufficient, but I felt that the Lord wanted
to heal me not only internally but externally as well. I felt the change in my
elbow as I continued to praise and proclaim!

            I then knew
what I had to do, go to sleep finally! I had to go to sleep because God wanted
me to share with everyone in the morning and have them pray for me.

Sure enough the opportunity was opened and I shared what God
had been doing. All the people in the room had been instruments that God had
been using for this very moment. What took place in the next 2 hours was truly
something special. Not only did they get to see how God used them and the fruit
of their obedience, they saw the power of the Almighty Lord.

            I knew that
God wanted them to pray for me to be baptized in the Holy Spirit. They all
agreed and started to pray for me. They each took turns and then I got up and
knelt before a chair and started praying. Nothing was really happening though.
The Pastor's wife said that it was going to come through worship and I had the same conviction. As I put on some
worship music, The Pastor told me a story from long ago of how he came to speak
in tongues the first time. It was no coincidence that the feelings and thoughts
were exactly what I was feeling. He said "Sometimes we have syllabals come to
our head, but we just dismiss them as our own thoughts or foolishness. I decided
to just speak the syllables that just popped in my head and within minutes the
Spirit took over." He challenged me just to speak those syllables out as I
prayed, so I did. Within a minute or two I could not control it. The only way I
could accurately depict it is if you can imagine you winessing the levies being
broken during Hurrincane Katrina. I didn't even notice it but I was on the
floor laid out completely. My soul was just cryiing out to God and I speaking
in a language I had never used before.

            Later the
pasotr shared with me his experience of what took place at that moment. He
described it as God getting a heavenly-holy spirit filled laser beam and
proceeded to zap me with His power. He could only sit in the back of the
chapel, cry, pray, and witness this moment that was coming from the throne room
of God.

He said to me "ANGELO, THESE TWO HOURS WERE AMAZING. IF WE COULD HAVE PUT ON "SPIRITUAL GLASSES"
WE WOULD HAVE SEEN LEGIONS OF ANGELS BATTLING THEIR WAY THROUGH THE RINGS OF
DEMONS ENCAMPED AROUND YOU - DRIVING THEM BACK AND BRINGING GIFTS - - - DIRECT
FROM THE THRONE OF THE FATHER - - - TO BLESS YOU WITH THE BAPTISM AND WITH
DEEP, DEEP, DEEP EMOTIONAL HEALING. YOU
WEREN'T JUST BEING BAPTIZED IN THE HOLY SPIRIT, YEARS OF HURT WAS BEING RIPPED
OUT OF YOU. YOU WEREN'T JUST BAPTIZED IN
THE HOLY SPIRIT, IT BURST FORTH FROM YOU AND SHOUTED TO GOD FOR FREEDOM AND
HEALING! I JUST SAT IN THE BACK OF THE
CHAPEL IN AWE OF POWER OF GOD! THE ROOM
FILLED UP WITH ANGELS BRINGING THE DELIVERANCE AND HEALING OF ALMIGHTY GOD! "

It was apparent to everyone in the
room that the Lord has been preparing me and molding me. For what? Only He
knows, but I am so happy to say that I have fallen ever so deeply in love with
my savior. Whatever he brings, I will be obedient and walk in it. I just want
to dwell in His holy place and worship him with my life. His ways are above all
understanding and pure, because He is pure and holy.

This was not a result of anything that I did, I did the
exact opposite if anything. He orchestrated it all and I have Him to thank for
it. I am so zealous not to let anything get in between this new found love He
has placed in me. May all the glory go
to the One who created us and called us to be His children, even as we were
dead in our transgressions.